I was just thinking about each of my children as I often do, although they're certainly not children anymore.  The thought of them, being with them, sharing experiences with them, and teaching them about life is a great comfort to me.  I feel like this is the one area in life in which the normal chaotic storms reduce to simple, orderly peace.  I feel like, whenever I have encounters with my children, teaching them, serving them, working with them, sharing in their victories and their agonies, even learning from them, something spiritual is definitely going on, and everything seems to make sense.  I think this is where the rubber meets the road in Christian living.  Of all the victories and successes in life that we might have, we should get the family relationships right before we venture out into the world to impact others’ lives.  But, I know, from having lived a few decades in the adult world and from personal experience, that family life is too often the place where we put in very little effort even while we are considered successes to the people around us at work or out in the community in which we live.  Knowing from personal experience the pain that can come from wounding at the hands of parents or other family members, I have desperately struggled to make sure I get this right before venturing out into the world to try influencing others. 

So I have invested much in the lives of my children, and I can honestly say that I am seeing the fruits of my work and the work of my wife so much these days.  My children are taking our love and the lessons we have given them to heart and are developing into amazing people that love each other and are wonderful ambassadors for our family and for our Lord.  They each have their own unique personalities and approaches to life.  They are not simply carbon copies of me or my wife.  But as I consider their differences, I'm amazed at God's incredible plans in which these seemingly very different personalities were put into our family.  Each one makes a special contribution to the overall family chemistry.  They somehow fit into each other and even into us in complementary ways that make the whole of us much better than we would be individually added up. I believe that this is God’s original plan for families, regardless of how it has actually turned out.  I believe that the nuclear family was meant to be a safe ground for developing our character, building our social skills, and strengthening us to take on the world or to change it for the better by loving service to those around us.  

 Just as God perfectly puts together, in this chaos of life, one man with one woman in a perfect harmony, with perfect complements of strength in each other to weakness in each other, I believe that He also puts together families in a very particular way so that He can develop us to our best potential, so long as we yield to His plan, allow Him to help us, and keep His influence in our relationships.  But, you know the deal, most of the time we don't yield to God's plan.  Too often, we are meaner to our own family members than we would be to any given stranger we might meet out on the road of life.  Moreover, parents often don't look on their children as a sacred trust, seeing them rather as property, or as tools to expand their own lives or reputations, or as servants to be used to make their own lives more comfortable,  or even as burdens to be carried around.  It is out of these attitudes that they often saddle these young ones at the outset with a host of legalistic demands in return for the supposedly great privileges that they mistakenly think that they've provided at great cost to themselves, while their real contribution to the lives of their children is much less.   This is certainly not God’s plan.  But, the good news is that it can be much better, if we develop a relationship with God, commune with Him on a regular basis so that He can fill us with His wisdom, and allow Him to build up in us His power to give agape love.  And once we are in regular fellowship with Him, we can then start living out lives of loving service to those around us, starting first with those that we know most intimately within our own family.  Even blended families, which are more common in our day and age, can have His miraculous power to make relationships work out well, such that it will seem that they were meant to be together, and who's to say that they weren't if God is at work in such people's lives. 



02/20/2017 7:08pm

People have to celebrate the events with the family member’s because these are the blessed days and everyone happy that day. The relatives and friends come and enjoy the celebrations. Thanks for the well written article to share with us about family chemistry that is truly effective.


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    I'm a retired soldier, having spent 23 years of my life serving our country, actually 30 years when you count the reserve and National Guard time as well.  I believe in servant leaders, following the example of our Lord, and I believe in giving back to the troops once one has attained a certain status or level of success in life.  But I also believe in fighting back against corruption and incompetence wherever you find it if it hurts people.  Our national values were worth dying for.  They are also worth living for.  A man or woman can actually live a life by these principles of humility, service, love, duty, and honor, and have a significant impact on the world around them...if you have the dedication to see it through. 


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