We should never yield to negative thoughts of our spouse.  In our minds, we should portray them always in the best light, not perfect, but still the same Eve or Adam that we loved in the beginning, still possessing the same personality and unique talents that attracted us originally to them, our perfect complement.  We can recognize flaws in the other without rejecting them.  The flaws should not diminish them but rather simply remind us that they are simply human, not perfect.  They should never be the object of our worship or the repository of all our hopes, only the hopes we have of what we and they together can be.  Our trust for life’s storms, our hope for a better life, and our worship should only be focused on God, not a human being.  Moreover, when we lean on another human being to save us, we put an excessive amount of pressure on them to be something they aren’t.  They will inevitably fail and leave us disappointed and heart-broken.  Too many relationships fail because they look to the other to be their savior, a role no human has ever been or ever will be qualified for.

But once we accept that our mate is inherently flawed, yet still wonderfully unique, and possessing infinite worth in God’s eyes, and once we no longer require that they be our gods, then we can find the true unique beauty of our relationships and the beauty within them that God will make more abundant over time as He sanctifies them, working on their hearts and character.  Love should always be bigger than our flaws, and it can be, as long as we maintain a good, regular relationship with our source of power, our amazing God, turning to Him constantly in prayer, not legalistically with whatever harsh strictures that have been shown to us, but rather in freedom, speaking to Him as we would speak to a cherished friend while walking and working through our daily life.  Prayer should never be seen as a burden or a chore.  Perhaps when we are still immature in spirit, we do see it that way.  But over time, we should see prayer as our sanctuary, our oasis, and our cherished time with our best friend.  Prayer can be done so many ways.  We can speak to Him out loud if we are alone, or we can speak to Him within our mind since He can hear our thoughts.   We can speak to Him while we are working or laboring over a chore or driving or walking or whatever we may be doing during the day.  He is ever present, waiting to listen and to teach us. 

Finally, I will share some things that forever changed my prayer life such that I can easily spend hours and hours every day for days on end in His presence.  One thing that made a big difference is that I discovered that I can speak to God in whatever state I am in, even if I am inebriated with alcohol or drugs that I have had to take for medical conditions.  This may come as a shock to some, but we do not ever have to be perfect to approach the throne of grace if we are covered by the Blood of our Savior.  So long as our thoughts are clear and our heart is humble and pure in our desire for Him, He does not mind.  Another thing that made a big difference is when I realized I can speak to Him with my eyes open and even while I am working, just like you might speak to a friend (which He is) while you are working through a task.  I’ve even spoken to Him while I was in conversation with another person or sitting in meetings.  God can hear our thoughts, so you can be praying without anybody around you being the wiser.  Lastly, I discovered that I can use the voice in my head that we all have and that we normally use to reason through things before we act or to reason through them after they have happened.  I have turned that voice around toward God such that most of my thoughts or voices are directed at God in prayer.  Instead of posing questions or making statements to myself in my head, I speak to God.  

When I am not praying, I am usually meditating on His word or His ways or whatever thought that connects to Him and my duties to others during the day.  I’ve reached the point that I rarely even have thoughts simply within myself for my own pleasures.  The result of all this time with Him is that my life has been literally transformed, with God taking out most of the sin and selfishness, replacing it with His Agape Love and His Wisdom.  Now I am a much better servant to those around me, and I have become the man that I always wanted to be.  I am not unusual in this.  Many others have gone through the same process to become powerfully effective tools in the hands of our loving Lord.  Most importantly, you can be one of those, if you simply yield to Him for His sanctifying work.  We will still be prone to sin as long as we have this treasure in earthen vessels, but over time, we can become so much more loving, so much more effective in service, and so much more pleasing to our Father and our brother and Savior, Jesus, as well as to those around us. 



03/03/2017 11:44am

Accepting one another's the real beautifying moment of marriage, the moment when you realise that you're both made for each other. I know it might feel rather difficult at first but when you're through the initial stages, you start embracing each other's imperfections being perfect.


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    I'm a retired soldier, having spent 23 years of my life serving our country, actually 30 years when you count the reserve and National Guard time as well.  I believe in servant leaders, following the example of our Lord, and I believe in giving back to the troops once one has attained a certain status or level of success in life.  But I also believe in fighting back against corruption and incompetence wherever you find it if it hurts people.  Our national values were worth dying for.  They are also worth living for.  A man or woman can actually live a life by these principles of humility, service, love, duty, and honor, and have a significant impact on the world around them...if you have the dedication to see it through. 


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