The Christian marriage which regularly practices unselfish love will navigate emotional and financial storms successfully every time as each remembers: that there is usually wrong on both sides of an argument; that money is not the main thing; it’s just a tool to help meet the needs of you and your family; to regularly put ourselves in the other person’s shoes in order to understand the struggles they have and the pressures they are under; to subordinate self interest during and after arguments, getting in the habit of quickly yielding to and admitting flaws and wrongs to the other.  There may truly be a right and wrong in the argument, but the important thing is to make the problem the focus of your anger rather than the person.  It is not flesh and blood that we fight against.  In these moments of turmoil, there is a spiritual battle going on.  So it is good to always remember that you are both on the same team, fighting against the world to establish your place in it, fighting against Satan’s attempts to devour you and your family, fighting to build your family with spiritually loving principles, fighting to provide for yourself, and fighting through all Satanic obstacles to lovingly serve others. 

Remember that it is a marriage of equals.  Neither is subordinate to the other, although there must be a head and leader in the husband who will be the protector and provider for the most part, and although there may be situations in which the wife works and brings in more than the husband.  But the family should willingly submit to the leadership of the husband and father, who should be submitting, in turn, to the Father in Heaven, and should be fulfilling his responsibilities in a loving, honorable, and spiritual manner.   Marriage should never be a power struggle, although many make it into that.  This is driven by pride or the desire to be right in any situation.  This attitude is destructive and should be addressed and submitted in prayer to God where the Father will then turn the attitude of the heart to something more beautiful and pleasing. 

Most importantly, we should remember that both spouses are inherently flawed and need help to become the people that we desire to be, that the other desires us to be, and that God desires us to be.  So, when we find moments such as Paul wrote about in Romans 7, when we desire to do right and just don’t seem to have the power within us to do so, then we should always take the situation to God and ask His power and wisdom to make us into what we need to be.  This is especially true when you have strong feelings or wounds from the past that seem insurmountable.  With God all things are possible.

Never forget that the Bible says it is the “hardness of our hearts” that leads us to divorce.  There should never be divorce.  Once we have been joined together with our spouse in heart and spirit, there cannot be a dissolution without pain and damage to ourselves and our children that came from our bond.  It is a Satanic lie to say that there is nobility in divorce or that things will be better once the divorce is executed.  We should avoid this at all costs, always working through the pain and damage that might come between us and our spouse.  But certainly, there are times when divorce might be the only answer if one spouse is committed to sin and is abusive beyond our capability to endure, refusing to change, or if the spouse is bringing harm to the children in some selfish, evil way.  But the decision should be worked out with God and according to His principles, with love and the greater good for all involved as the ultimate aim.  Try not to let hard or hateful feelings drive your actions because, when you do, you will inevitably shoot past the mark of proper action or you will be too consumed with bitter anger that you will not even want to do the right thing. 

God does not desire that we should suffer needlessly or that we be abused, although there are certainly times in our lives when our suffering is part of His plan.  But He does not want the little ones to suffer during their formative years in ways that may hobble them the rest of their lives.  It is an unavoidably tragic fact that divorce prospers in our fallen world, primarily when we habitually practice selfishness and let our minds and hearts drift into sin.  But there is a better way when we turn to God.   Over time, if we put in the effort necessary for a healthy relationship, with God and our spouse, and cultivate the right thoughts, the marriage grows into something so beautiful, so much bigger than we could be individually.  Such a marriage is joy manifested for all involved, and is a powerful tool in the hands of our Lord, witnessing His power and His love to a fallen world.  As always, we can head off many of our troubles by controlling the mind, renewing it through contact with God daily, with meditation on His word, and by always thinking positive thoughts of our spouse.

(Continued on the next blog posting)
 


Comments

03/22/2017 6:08am

We are spend our life according to the needs of life and desire. If we follow the rules of God then we can get peace and every person want to life according to the desires but our life is under control of our God. If we remember our God in our life the we can get very things in life.

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06/06/2017 12:21am

Let's always enjoy God's gift, that's the message of this blog. While marriage is God's gift for two people that is set to become one, God would still want to see that two people growing up individually. Yes, we need it. We became married with someone, but that doesn't mean we should stop growing up for ourselves alone. While married life is all about you two, you still need your own story too!

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06/11/2017 1:42am

Christian drug treatment centre, a way that shows you the path leading to a life free from the drugs and alcohol, is a perfect destination for drug addicts. Drug rehab centres have become the ideal place that provides the drug addicts strength and will power to get rid of the drug addiction habit. Blending the effective treatments with beneficial programs, Christian rehab programs have been helping the drug addicts in finding the new meaning of life and its worth.

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    I'm a retired soldier, having spent 23 years of my life serving our country, actually 30 years when you count the reserve and National Guard time as well.  I believe in servant leaders, following the example of our Lord, and I believe in giving back to the troops once one has attained a certain status or level of success in life.  But I also believe in fighting back against corruption and incompetence wherever you find it if it hurts people.  Our national values were worth dying for.  They are also worth living for.  A man or woman can actually live a life by these principles of humility, service, love, duty, and honor, and have a significant impact on the world around them...if you have the dedication to see it through. 

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